Paper 1 Question 1 b Review
The writers' purpose, Richard Branson, is to inform and educate the reader(s) on why being ‘happy’ is a great deal of success and what it can bring to the reader, and what it has accomplished for the writer himself.
The purpose is somewhat stated in the first paragraph as the writer begins with an introduction of how he wants ‘to help you’. Branson first describes how the reader is going through a ‘tough time’. By doing so this can rather engage the reader by furthermore questioning how Branson is going ‘to help’ and yet by also indicating how the writer mentions ‘you’, the reader, of being in a terrible tribulation. This can bring up imagery due to the fact that even though the reader(s) may not likely be in ‘a tough time’ they can imagine themselves throughout reading the letter.
Throughout the text, the writer changes shifts in using perspectives. The writer uses first person by using words such as “me”, “I”, and “my” and second person point of view by using words such as “you”. By changing perspectives it can connect with the author's purpose by how the writer is talking about his own life as he was learning to ‘be happy’ and how he gained many possibilities by doing so. It can also connect with the purpose by the writer indicating ‘you’ by meaning he wants the audience to succeed and how it can change one's life.
Next, the writer uses multiple rhetorical devices: pathos and kairos, which are the main ones. The author draws emotion to the audience and the reader by convincing or telling the reader the reason why being happy is important. It can also truly be emotional by how in the eighth paragraph Branson mentions his own future life and how he can feel uplifting and it can make oneself ‘smile’ and be a ‘loving’ self. The author indicates kairos mainly due to the fact that since life is too short that ‘as human beings’ we shouldn’t ‘stress about nominal things’.The writer also indicates the verb “waste” by saying happy should always be a priority and a routine and that we shouldn’t procrastinate.
In the eighth paragraph, there is a use of repetition going on by using the word ‘It’s’. He uses this word at the beginning of each sentence in this paragraph. The word ‘It’s’ can have a powerful message to the reader and the writer himself. By so, “it’s” can correlate by having a message of saying that this says things about the future in this case by saying “it’s holding my new grandchild’s tiny hands”. In this paragraph, you can also bring back the use of imagery. Branson continuously talks about his future and the things imagines multiple things such as ‘watching the flamingos..at dusk’ and ‘smell of rain’ and ‘ripple of a wave. All of these can also bring a sense of atmosphere and make it a positive tone. By the use of imagery, this can bring the reader to visualize what themselves could imagine what Branson’s ‘happiness’ can be and get a sense of what he is feeling firsthand.
Branson also brings up a stereotype in the fifth paragraph by saying how this “world expects” everyone to ‘go to college’ and ‘go to school’ of being happy. This stereotype that Branson brings up is getting the reader's attention by making them think that there is more than that to being happy. Because the writer says the ‘world expects’ the reader can think that this is a normal thing for humans to do for being happy. However, Branson thinks the opposite way as he is saying that this can be sent out that going to college shouldn’t be ‘expected’.
The writer's form is used informally. By doing so, the author uses the word ‘I’ and how it is more spontaneous. This can also bring in structure because since the writing is informal, it is structured with short sentences like “Be healthy” and “Be bold”.
Additionally, the writer in the second paragraph mentions the verb ‘OK’ in all capitalized letters. Branson writes this word all uppercase letters because in the next following words in the sentence he says ‘stressed’. This can bring it back to the audience and the purpose because being ‘stressed’ isn’t peculiar or abnormal at all. Everyone becomes stressed. Branson lets the reader knows this because how he is informing the reader(s) that no one is perfect and how you can be ‘scared and sad’ in life.
This author is efficient in talking about how being happy can totally change someone's life. Branson also gives first-hand examples about his past of correlating it back to how the audience can be at the stage now, as he was in the past. He then explains how not only can it talk about one’s personality, but the writer also mentions how it can disrupt one’s time and how it can also damage your mentality of being stressed out.
Hi Shaz,
ReplyDeleteAO1 - 3 marks - clear understanding of meaning/context/ and audience. You did a great job explaining the purpose of the text in the first two paragraphs. You talked about how the purpose of the letter was to “inform” and “educate” people on the benefits of finding happiness. You also had a clear reference to characteristic features.
AO3 - 14 marks - Analysis is detailed, logical, and effectively structured. Effective selection of elements of form structure and language. You shared and explained many elements of form structure and language. When talking about language, you brought up ideas like repetition, pathos, and kairos. You showed a clear awareness of the writer's stylistic choices and how they affect the audience. You used clear and appropriate language to link evidence with comments. Overall, I think you did a great job writing your blog.
17/25
Shahz,
ReplyDeleteFor AO1 your score was 1/5 marks due to your very limited understanding of the characteristic features of the letter. You attempt to make references to the letter and include quotations pulled from the text however you do not connect the references to the author’s purpose and how they function. Your vocabulary is very limited and makes little sense at times. There are grammatical errors that can lower your score and weaken your response. By improving your vocabulary and grammar you can strengthen your response.
For AO3 your score was 4/20 marks based on your analysis of the form, structure, and language that the author uses. Although you make reference to the text and the features there are minimal connections between the audience and the purpose of the writer’s text conventions. It is important to discuss the implications of the author’s language choices in your analysis and use more descriptive and appropriate language to link the textual evidence with your claims and explanatory comments. Your blog could be improved with a clearer understanding of language and the reason for characteristic features in the letter.
AO1 - 3 marks: You showed a clear understanding of the text and reference to characteristic features by providing many different points and quotes.
ReplyDeleteAO3 - 11 marks: Your analysis is structured well in short paragraphs so ideas are organized.Some ideas were not expanded on enough. For example, your discussion of the shifts in point of view between first and second person. It was not discussed what the second person pov adds.Sometimes vocabulary was used incorrectly to explain points. For example, you said using the phrase ‘a tough time’ created imagery for the reader. This would more relate to the use of pathos since he is trying to invoke emotion out of the reader. Imagery refers more to the author being able to be very descriptive and paint a picture of what something looks like in the reader's head. You did relate back to the audience often, which is good.
Total: 14/25