Paper 1, Question 1

a) You are a journalist at the Olympic 100 metres final which Usain Bolt describes in the extract.

     At the Olympics sprinters competed viciously against one another in the 100-metre dash. There was a wide range of athletes including Asafa Powell (former 100-metre World Record Holder) , Richard Thompson, Usain Bolt, and many others. As soon as the race starts, Richard Thompson is off to a great start, leading the pack.

     Bolt tripped on his right side, but quickly came right back up and ran again. He quickly gained momentum and passed Thompson. Around 75-80 metres, he was looking over his shoulder, and it was anaomolous due to the fact that Asafa wasn't in the picture. 

     Bolt, just ten meters away from the cross line, put his hands in the air, thumping his fists to his chest repeatedly, knowing that he couldn't find Asafa in front of him. No one did surpass him. Just like that, Usain Bolt crossed the finished line, and Bolt was the Olympic champion. Not only did he win the championship, he has beaten Asafa. This means that Usain Bolt is now the World Record holder for having the shortest time of a 100-metre dash, and still is.

b) Compare your newspaper report with the autobiographical extract

     The autobiographical text and my newspaper text report both are easy to read by the form of the paragraphs. By doing this, it'll be easier for the people to follow along while reading and making it look neater. The form can be followed throughout the reading and can be structured.

     The use of language in the text uses onomatopoeia words such as "Bang!" and "Pow!" to describe the use of imagery of imagining the actions of actually being there at the Olypmpics. There was no need to use onomatopoeia in the newspaper as that there wouldn't be use of it, because the point of a newspaper is an explanation what's happening in the occasion. The autobiographical text is used in informal text, meaning the use of specific lexis word choice is easier to understand. In addition, the autobiography uses verbs such as "stumbled", "extending" and "pounded my chest" to describe how Bolt felt and his actions throughout the event. However, the journal has some adverbs like "quickly" and verbs such as "thumping".

     The autobiographical is used in first person perspective, using words such as "I" repeatedly. This is Usain Bolt explaining the thoughts of his mind and what's going through while running in the 100-metre dash and how he felt after winning. Mine however, is used in third person perspective, since I used words such as "it".

     The text is more emotional by using his inner thoughts. By using his thoughts we know what he's thinking, words such as, "I talk a lot of trash in my head when I'm tearing down the track" and "threw my hands up in the air and acted all mad". Here we can clearly tell what he always thinks before and during while Bolt is running. My newspaper report is more informative. I'm just informing the reader who is reading the newspaper, or just explaining what is going on in the event and what is happening about the other players and what Usain Bolt did. The text used quotations, while mine didn't. The autobiography is more of the thoughts of Bolt himself think "about who's doing what ahread of me in the lines" or if someone is "trying to beat" him. This is himself trying to make him run faster, such as motivating himself.

     The structure for both the autobiography text and the newspaper are being used in chronological order, from beginning to end. They are both explaining step-by step of what is happening in the event, how it is happening, and who won throughout the whole Olympics event. 










Comments

  1. Shoomba the RoombaFebruary 7, 2022 at 6:00 PM


    (Shamus) Hello Shahz,

    1(A):
    AO1- This section gets a mark of 4. You seemed to know the exact context to put this in and it fueled your work. I think what you could have touched on a little bit more is the emotion that the runners feel throughout the race. This being said, I liked how you added that Usain Bolt was now the record holder because it shows that you had some good background information as well.

    AO2- In your writing, it was very interesting when you stated, “Just like that, Usain Bolt crossed the finish line, and Bolt was the Olympic champion.” This showed that he came out of nowhere and cruised to the end in order to win. It shows that anything can happen in this sport and how engaging it is. This section gets a mark of 3.

    1(B):
    AO1- This gets a 3. I like how you realized that you needed to use a good descriptive nature of words to make your response better. You also realized that there was no use for sound words in your response which was cool. You seemed to have a good understanding of this part.

    AO3- The last part of your response would get a 5. Your response had great stricture as your work was perfectly spaced out and easy for me to understand as well as read nicely. You also realized how the form was very different between the two as one of them had a more first-person perspective as yours was from the third person. Overall good job and keep it up.

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  2. RickyRickFebruary 8, 2022 at 7:48 PM

    Hey Shahz,
    A)
    A01
    I would give this section a mark of 4, I feel like your text was good and you knew the context of the question being asked to you, I also feel like you knew who the audience of your article was and you wrote it like a journalist would. You also showed that you had knowledge by mentioning the fact that he beat Asafa, the previous record holder. "This means that Usain Bolt is now the World Record holder for having the shortest time of a 100-metre dash, and still is."
    A02
    While your writing was good, I feel like it did have its flaws, but something that you did that I liked was using good language to get your point across and make us feel what bolt was feeling while reading. I also liked that you kept your writing on topic and that I understood your Ideas very well and it wasn't a struggle to read so I give this section a 4
    1B
    A01
    I would give this part a score of 3, I did see that you knew the meaning of both texts and how they differ. I do see that you knew both of the texts with good knowledge but I feel like you could have done better doing it. I also feel like you didn't use many of those buzzwords that we are looking for and had trouble really making it flow.
    A03
    I would give this section the score of 5-6 marks due to there not being analysis of form and you only analyzing structure and vocabulary and due to the fact that I was generally confused thought some of the reading, but there was analysis of how the stylistic choices relate to the audience and form the actual article and the differences. You did a good job on this assignment but we all have room for improvement.

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  3. DuckieFebruary 10, 2022 at 6:57 AM

    A) AO1: For your understanding of the text, I give you a 4. I like your depiction of the events and how you instantly grab the readers attention by stating how amazing this race was and by listing the people who were in the race with brief and relevant descriptions. The only problem is you could have incorporated the emotion going into the race to make it more interesting. Expanding on my point, to finish off your final sentence an exclamation point would have been better since you write about all the excitement so it would have been a better fit. However the exclamation point was only a small recommendation. Great job!
    AO2: I give your writing a 5. I do have some small tweaks, however, your writing was overall strong enough to earn a 5. A tweak I have is for this sentence, "Bolt tripped on his right side, but quickly came right back up and ran again." I think what happened when you were writing this sentence is you got caught up in the excitement you were trying to display. Getting back to the sentence, the structure of "came right back up and ran again" is off because I feel like you were 'squishing' too much information together. Next time, I would try "Bolt fell behind when he tripped on his right side. However, he recovered quickly by getting back up and continued running."
    B) AO1: I give you a 4. You have a basic understanding of the texts but you could expand more. It does not seem like you truly analyzed your text and the autobiography enough. However I like your word choice!
    AO3: Overall, I give you a 7/10. Your writing is good, you just need to work on technical things and go back on your writing to reread it and make sure it flows well together.

    ReplyDelete

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